Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. On this 29th January 2007, it's officially 10th year of my recovery process, but I will always remember my history with gambling addiction.
Gambling addiction took away my life without killing me, it took away my family, friends, occupation, my house, and almost ruined my love life with my husband. It cost me more than what money can buy. Also, I wasn't aware I had psychological and psychiatric problems until some years later.
I originated from the profundities of hellfire, sadness, and gloom.
I woke up in the doctor's facility with swathes wrapped around both my wrists and could hear two individuals discussing blades everywhere throughout the family room as I passed out once more. All I recall was everything going dull in nothingness. Recently, I have become aware of what caused that empty feeling; It was caused by a collapse of my nervous system. A mental/emotional blackout. From that point I went to a compulsion/mental emergency focus.
Everyone checked on me to make sure I didn't attempt killing myself. Not long after, a psychiatrist began to work with me. And indisputably, I was an impulsive gambler also. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
I have tried to quit betting on my own but felt I could handle it by myself and I wasn't successful with lots of recurrences and binges even while in ambulatory treatment. I suppose I had not arrived at the lowest point yet.
Even after a 20 day stay in a crisis base and suicide trial!
My situation was a clear case of an Addiction. Addictions are abnormal behaviours which are extremely tough to end. However, the condition isn't hopeless. What's more, this wasn't my last time I would work this circuit.
Not resulting from seriously betting, because of the financial pressures from this ailment, I had another self-murder attempt in 2006 as it appeared I had not done equal to what is needed in every aspect of recovery, including my financial inventory.
First lesson: Have a stable recovery plans. In 2006 I thought I could have a normal life without pills and treatment for my mental illness. I tried to survive without the pills and treatment sessions, I thought my sickness was caused by my gambling addiction that leads to PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. Just for two weeks with no medications, I was back to desperation and suicidal thoughts. My answer? I took every one of my meds on the double. I had gotten to that dim, dark gap of misery once more.
Back in the healing centre once more, an additional 16-day emergency focus stay and days of suicide watch.
On my discharge from the hospital, I learnt an important lesson which is always to take my medicines to preserve my sanity and psychological welfare often regarded as a two-way diagnosis.
Recuperation with even negative encounters, sprinkled with some "confidence" can indicate us numerous life lessons in recuperation. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Notwithstanding when you are not taking part in your inclination of enslavement, we can at present have issues emerge and life challenges in recuperation, so being readied is imperative.
A lot of destinations
First, the practices and actions that we earn and learn within any dependence and "the cycle" of any dependence have to be discontinued and removed for us to have an opportunity at a very honest recovery. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. Learning the arts and implements in treatment and therapy to discontinue the repeated processes of addiction and clear a path for dispersing control, disavowal, justifications, and more.
Second, come to consent that recuperation is a lifetime program. It is as imperative to acknowledge as Step-one, add up to surrender.
Third, an essential 'Relapse Prevention Plan' in a tactical and strict form, to stay recovered for a long time and avoid starting the process all the way from the beginning. We all believe that life occurrences take place. Not just the bad and bitter moments, there are also beautiful and sweet ones.
This accounts for the multitudes of questions by several popular sites when checking if you are addicted to gambling. It is why they place #19.) "Did you ever have an encouragement to jubilee any great luck by some hours of gambling?" It is an absolute YES! For me. When I got good fortunes, my first thought was to celebrate and have fun by gambling. Nonetheless, these questions were clearly not effective since my addiction was looking grave.
I utilized my gatherings and links there for my help and listening to other similar-minded dependents and have my thoughts of how subtle and crafty this ailment is. GA told me that it is crucial for me to be right by other addicts' side during their recovery, because they need us just like when I needed others' supports.
There is a need for discussions about addictions instead of the silence associated with it. Let's break up the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to break the "stigma" surrounding it, and surrounding those who live dual diagnosed also. Yes, mental/emotional sickness in recovery can be a difficult task, but I think by telling people some of my experiences, vigour, and expectation, and sharing some of my stories can be an example that recovery is achievable, and we can live joyful, sound, and productive lives in recovery!